As a child growing up I was often fearful of the dark for what lurked around the corners of the darkest rooms and the closed closets. It was on two certain occasions the closet door swung open and a black thick massive cloud, similar to a tornado rushed towards me. I have often talked about this experience in my lectures across the country and found many children and adults who have seen and had similar experiences. The question has always remained, who or what is in that black mass? Where does it come from and where does it go? My fear as a child was always, what happened if it grabbed me and pulled me into its own darkness? What would become of me? This fear was all to real, and no dream or nightmare could compare could compare to the reality of what I was witnessing. My sheer terror and screams running away from it was witnessed by a maid/babysitter we had while my parents where out of town working. She quit after this experience. While I believe I have seen what is in those clouds, and have assumed it is a vehicle or higher form for which they travel and move in and out of their dimension. I cannot be 100% sure. What I am sure is that in September of 2009 a creature, that I had not seen since I was 5-9 years old manifested for the first time since and made me realize that in 35 years not only has my size changed but my fears. What I saw last year was not a corner of the eye sighting, it was a full on reminder. That they are still around, watching, waiting. At first I was in shock, but then it quickly turned to anger as I was reminded of the fear I felt as a child and now as an adult, one not afraid to confront that which I have been facing for the past 20 years had just invaded not only my home, but my consciousness…no longer as a child…as an adult who will no longer run. I looked away and then looked up again. It was still there, slowly moving back into the darkness of the closet and slowly becoming transparent as if it was going back into its own dimension. I would not say it was becoming invisible, it was still there to a degree but moving away from the illumination from the room and bacakwards into the darkness was taking it somewhere else as well as passing out of my visual spectrum. A certain frequency of light and just the right OPEN consciousness allowed it to be seen. I turned away at first in shock and catapulted into past memories, and then I turned and looked again and watched it creep back into the shadows of the corner of the closet. As I watched in awe, its eyes gleamed back into the light, and then it retreated back into the darkness of the shadows. I jumped up and ran to the door…angry. Facing what was now an empty closet. I cursed inside my head and then spoke words out loud. “How dare YOU!” I yelled how I was no longer afraid and to show itself once more. Nothing occurred. I knew it was gone, as if it was toying with me. What was the purpose..what was the message? I pondered on this for days and weeks. I have a good idea, not one I am about to share.
Two weeks ago something happened again, flying me back to the events that occurred in my home on Park Lane from 1972-1978. The hauntings and the evil that resided in that house. I felt it again, but this time in my current home. It woke me to sheer pain in my left eye as it was ripped open again from a corneal tear and abrassion. I cursed and screamed around the room, not only in pain but the fact that the one thing I feared and was terrorized most from my childhood home had somehow and someway found me. It always was, the short creatures and the black cloud showing itself first, and then the larger darker more powerful being coming next. I once again raced around the house cursing and telling it to leave. How dare it come into my home. To show itself, if it dare. I yelled that it was weak to attack me in my sleep, when I was defenseless. NOW that I was wide awake, where was it?
I don’t have all the answers to what occurred in Sept and a few weeks ago, but what I do know is the feeling, what I saw I have not felt in over 35 years. For the first time since I felt and saw what plagued me for years growing up as a child and I honestly believed it was over with. Now I am certain it is not.
There was a part of me relieved to know that what happened to me as a child did in fact happen, but now as an adult seeing it again quickly makes me realize that most people would never believe it, unless they saw it for themselves. How does one talk about something like this? What happens next?
-Chris
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Pingback from Out of the Darkness | on May 31, 2010 at 10:38 am
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I get to comment? Well, I am confused about what to say. I find it interesting that you drew a picture to represent what you saw. I should think about doing that more often. It’s a good way to stand back and look at it from a different perspective.
I watched a show you were on recently and learned a few techniques I’m going to try out. For instance, writing down what I’m feeling as it happens while trying to pick up information. Watching people walk by, then feeling what I get from them walk away with them. These are good ideas to get a better idea of what I can do and how to understand it.
But, I’m mostly having issues with what to do of my fear and how to feel more confident that whatever these things are are not going to follow me or hurt me if I look at them.
Do you have any advice?
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Chris, I just happened to run across your blog and am I glad I did. As a child something black would come out of my closet and go under my bed, some nights I would be so afraid I would sleep in full sweat under my blankets until morning, and other nights the fear would have me screaming for someone to turn on the lights. I rememeber many nights my grandparents being upset with me saying “there is nothing in the closet” and have me go back to bed. This black shadow was short and would crack the closet open and run under the bed and some nights push up from the bottom of the bed making my mattress jump up. Over the years of being told there was nothing there, I still am convienced “they were wrong” Im in my 40s now and do not have closet doors in my room…it was only present in the one house, but its a story that has others looking at me like I was a child with an active imagination and it really DOESNT HAPPEN… Its nice to hear “I wasnt the only ONE”
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Hey Chris,
I don’t know if you remember me but I actually got to join you on a ghost hunt when you came down to my college (Ringling College of Art and Design). It was certainly a day I would never forget.Even by reading the blog I still find it exciting like I did hearing your stories and experiences
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Hi Chris,
I can tell you about one occasion when I saw a shadow person. It was when I was in Greece. They have this ritual of when a person dies, after a certain number of years, they open the casket, clean the bones and put them in a small box in a storage house. It’s done to save space in the cemetary. On this occasion, the person’s bones they cleaned where my grandmother’s. I didn’t go to see the cleaning because I didn’t want to see her like that.
That night, I was awoken by a tapping on my head (like a two-finger tap). I woke up to see a shadow person walking from me and eventially fading. I always asuumed it was my grandmother. I told my grandfather and he said not to say stupid things.
I have seen others and I don’t know who they are. I have also seen other things too – colored and white orbs (with naked eye) squigly shadow things, mists, and once a full apparition (a civil war military looking person). I closed my eyes, counted to three, opened them and he was still there.
I have also, at times, awoken to find bruses on me in places where I couldn’t have bumped myself, a hand print on me (far bigger than my own hand) and I once woke to the feeling of a hand comming through the bed, as I was lying on my back, and squeezing my neck. It stopped as soon as I was fully awake.
Since then, I say a prayer to God every night to please send guardian angels to watch over me and my family as we sleep. I haven’t had any marks on me since. You might like to try this. A few times that I forgot to say this prayer and I had very uneasy nights sleep.
Also, this is second time that I am writing this comment. The first time, I started to write and the computer moved me to a different screen (without me doing anything to cause it). Then, I started to write again and the computer’s power went out (just the computer, nothing else). It wouldn’t restart after a few trys and then I prayed to God to send guardian angels to remove any evil that was around me and my computer, and then the computer turned on again.
It can be tiring dealing with this stuff. I often think it would be nice to be one of the people who don’t see or experience anything. I think they know less, but also have more peace.
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Chris I can relate but my experience is largely different. I know how you feel. I have never talked about it with anyone. In fact I have tried for 20 years to block the experience from my mind. For 20 years I never been able to sleep in a darken room and even freak if the lights go out for I am afraid it might return. The growling noises, the talking and the scratching? sounds. I am not sure how to describe it. The emotion from it is so intense. I do not think they like to be talked about. I write horror fiction as a way to deal with the things I have seen without people calling me crazy. How do you talk about it? I never figured that out unless you want someone to lock you up–you don’t. You find ways to deal with it on your own. The beauty of your position though is that you can talk about it because you study it and people will take you seriously. I have also learned that ignorance is truly bliss. If people do not know something like that exists I don’t believe they can be affected by it. So in a way of not talking about it I feel like I protect the ones around me from it. Whatever it is –its not a shadow person. It’s something else. I disagree with the commenter above. I do not understand what it is with the darkness that invites them to come out. 99% of most apparitions I have seen are at night even though I have seen then during the day. This thing only comes at night. I would love to know how to get rid of it. I don’t think there’s an easy answer. Thank you for posting this. I know its hard to talk about it. Thank you for trying.
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