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Shapeshifter Experience – 5/6/12 around 5am Central time

Shapeshifter Experience – 5/6/12 around 5am Central time

Actual drawing of what I saw.

It has been two years since I had encountered a shapeshifter. This time it was much larger then the original creature I encountered almost two years ago.

You may be asking, what is a shapeshifter? – according to Wikipedia “In its broadest sense, shapeshifting occurs when a being (usually human) either (1) has the ability to change its shape into that of another person, creature, or other entity or (2) finds its shape involuntarily changed by someone else.”

They are part right on the description. In my case it was nothing human, except what it wanted me to see it as.

Last night while in the dream state, I saw a familiar face coming forward. His name was Johnny. Johnny was one of  my grandmas best friends and he became  my sisters and I’s step grandpa or in the simplest sense “the best darn adopted uncle any kid could have.” He was remarkable in the sense he lived across the street and when my grandpa died (I was really young when this happened, maybe 5-7 years old) Johnny would visit my grandma to make sure she was okay and from there they became best friends.

When I visited my grandma every summer growing up as a kid, I would spend one to two weeks there, sometimes beg my parents for my sister and I to stay longer, we got our wish some trips and stayed for a month. Johnny would always come over, we would play card games such as “fish” and “war” as well as board games like “checkers.” When he was bold enough we would head out to the street and play catch with baseball and gloves. He was always in good spirits and on a variety of occasions he would be drinking a lot of spirits. Getting drunk a few times here and there, however because Johnny was good hearted, drinking or being drunk never changed him. He was still pure good ole Johnny. Never angry, never mean, never out of place, except he had such a crazy sense of humour we would do funny and childish things and drive my grandma nuts were she sometimes kicked him out of the house and told him to leave. He was a good instigator and we loved that part of him. It was all in good fun and since Johnny never married or had kids, we were in many ways his adopted grandkids or children for that matter.

When my sister and I went to Canada to visit my Grandma every year, we were also going to visit Johnny as well. We  became that close.

When my grandma got sick we lost touch with Johnny she had to move into an apartment and Johnny did the same when his sister died. He had to sell the house since he couldnt take care of it alone. I will never forget the last time i flew to canada, my freshman year in College, to visit my grandma as she was in the hospital having her third triple bypass surgery. My father felt she might not make this one, so It was important for me to be there. While in town I called up Johnny and spoke with him. He was in terrible pain himself and not able to walk much and asked if I would be coming by to see him. He was very lonely and had no one but my grandma left in the world that he knew or interacted with. I told him I would, however my father never liked him, why I’ll never know. I think it was because he had on occasion made some passes at my grandma over the years and she always turned him away. My father probably got wind of that and didnt appreciate it.

The few days I was in Canada my father and I visited relatives and spent time at the hospital with my grandma before her big surgery. My grandma stated she didnt want to be here any more and as fate would have it the next day, after surgery she never came out of it. She was brain dead for hours and passed later that day, besides having a remarkable experience of her making contact briefly with me, I couldn’t stop thinking of Johnny.

My dad wouldn’t take me and we got in a huge argument about it. I wished to this day that I would have gone as I never got to see him. I spoke with him on the phone a few days later after my grandma passed and he cried, and didnt know what he was going to do now that grandma was gone. He also stated how bad he wanted to see me. He shared how he didnt think he would be around much longer as well. I never knew what happened to Johnny. I called a long time later and a recording stated the number was disconnected. I always felt bad  my father wouldnt take the time for me to go see him. I guess I should have gone anyway, somehow figured a way myself.

Back to the dream – IN the dream Johnny appeared and walked towards me to give me a hug, excited to see him I gave him a hug and told him how much I missed him. His hug and grip seemed to get tighter to where it felt peculiar, unnatural, and I therefore began to pull away wondering what was going on. As I struggled to pull away his face changed and it was if skin slid off digitally and bits of scales and reptilian skin began to appear through. This yellowish green tinted color, scaley and slimey, there also began to be a smell. Disgusting smell. As I started to yell and scream using my forearms and elbows to squeeze through its grip I quickly realized this wasn’t Johnny, instead it was a demon or reptilian pretending to be him and using his image to get close to me.  It had shape shifted into him and was trying to trick me. Sensing what was wrong, I pushed harder away from it and it began to change more….the one side of his face changed into a reptilian face. The eyes blinked and turned reptilian and the nose was gone and in its place a demonic reptilian nose with scales. I knew what was going on from a dream two years ago and yelled out “Jesus” and got mad at it, showing no fear, but aggressively saying “NO!” I woke up quickly with my arms in front of me pressed against my chest. I felt pressure released as if something was laying on me holding them down, I shot halfway up from the bed and there was a stench,  it smelled like cat poop but worse. It was all around me, I began sniffing the sheets,  my comforter, my arms and my breath, nothing. I looked around to see if the cats perhaps left a surprise on my bed…nothing. The smell began to fade and l Laid back down, puzzled…but only briefly.

A skeptic would call it sleep paralysis, bullshit, I knew it was more than that. Way too real and the smell, there was this lingering, defecating smell.

I began to replay what just occurred in my head. Was it just a dream or was it something more? An attack perhaps. I know from experience that evil can take another form and present it self in a way where you can become vulnerable, even welcoming  to whatever stands before you not realizing that it is not what it seems. Why do they do it? To scare, to intimidate? Maybe, or perhaps they are trying to get closer to get in, wether into your mind or soul. To control and take over. Wether spiritually, physically or fearfully.

Regardless of their intentions I am not afraid, never was. More disgusted that they would do that. More aware of one of the many forms they can take. But the question remains was it a demon in the biblical sense, or was it a draconian, a reptilian, an ancient alien race? Are they one and the same or  are there many different species or variations of them?

It is interesting how over the past 6 months I have been investigating this ideal, that there are many different types of races of aliens and inter dimensional beings. Even variations in their species. Was this attack to mock me or scare me? I don’t know and I don’t care.

All I care is wherever Johnny is on the other side, I want him to know that I love him and one day, when my time comes I will get to see him again and we will sit down to a game of checkers and  stories of what we have both been up to since we spoke last.

As to what occurred last night, it surely wasn’t the first. Events like this have occurred in varying degrees and situations to me for over 40 years and I damn well know this won’t be the last. There will be another day another time something else for them to try. Its not something anyone can prepare for, it is always unexpected, except I do remember last night my right ear kept ringing loudly at a bar. So loud I told the girl I met for a drink about it. Hmmm. Nope, not going to go there.

That’s a whole other field of experiences I don’t want to get into or even assume this time around.

-Chris 5/6/12

The Question, The Universe, and The Book!

The Question, The Universe, and The Book!

Actual Photo minutes after it occured.

A few weeks ago while driving home, I began to think, not your usual thoughts, but deep thoughts. Spiritually I began to question my current existence as if observing and consulting myself. I realized I had slowed down on my path and even gone off on detour. Not a detour that was making me feel as if I was accomplishing anything. It was more of a feeling that the last two years had pushed me away from certain aspects of my path and quite possibly caused me to miss certain opportunities to succeed in some of my dreams and aspirations. The question, which I felt I had no answer to was not one of desperation, but more of a realignment seeking with the universe better guidance and trust.

I had come to realize deep down I was not happy, and it had nothing to do with people in or no longer in  my life. It had to do with the distractions that have occurred the past two years and seemingly strayed me away from my passion and drive in what I do. My passion seemed to be slipping, yet I could not place why. Possibly, disappointment with those I had surrounded myself with along with my indecisions to act upon feelings and senses that my path was not being properly followed. My choices were more for others then for myself.  Getting and feeling older was not helping either. I just no longer felt the same I did three years ago. The car accident, broken nose, torn eye, and more were now everyday reminders for me physically. Extra baggage in pain or discomfort I would much rather live without. Consistent pain I have come to realize, does affect our choices and thoughts and in many cases can create indecision. I have learned that now.

My current self, driving along almost with no place to go, knew I needed help, yet in its darkness and sense of hopelessness I felt I needed to speak out to the higher consciousness. The truth that exists in all of us. So I did for the first time in awhile. As a man, I realized I couldn’t face these issues alone anymore.

As I drove in deep thought, staring ever forward on the darkened road as the headlights of my black SUV illuminated the path I had traveled so many times. It was no longer similar to me, it was a route I had to go, but reaching my home was not even a thought. I realized regardless of the path I am now currently on, whether one of missed opportunities or whether one of new beginnings my attitude, my focus needed to change. Where was I going now? Where did I want to go. I was thinking I didn’t have it in me anymore. No drive, no determination. Just plain tired. What was I to do?

I know the spirit world listens and I know so does the creator. For we are all connected. Yet they can’t always intervene for our freewill prevents that. So, I could not change what the universe has given me because of my decisions, my actions and the distractions I have allowed from others. The energies I have allowed myself to absorb from and receive being around others has obviously driven me into this current state. Not one so much of confusion as one of feeling of being on a train to nowhere. I needed to pull out of this, otherwise this road will lead to nowhere. Who wants to go there? When in fact there is no there, when one no longer knows where there is? The question is where do I want to go now and how do I get there? Confused as my words might sound, that is exactly how I felt.

While I have no one to consult to and I have spent years spiritually consulting others who would one like myself turn to?

In my realization over the years, I have come to the sense that because of our freewill, god or the creator whomever you believe in,  will not normally intervene in our lives to save us or change our life. Because of our freewill, we have to ask for it in a way that we cant expect to get automatically from point A to point B. To obtain point B, our goals, dreams, hopes, miracles, must occur somehow some way by our own actions and involvement. We can believe that point B is possible all by itself, only if we realize that we must capitalize on the opportunities that the universe will gladly present to us. We must recognize these things and  take advantage of the opportunities. Recognize, then reaction and action to make it happen. The more we recognize the opportunities in front of us, placed there by the universe as well as our freewill in getting us there, the quicker we will get to point B. The universe can only help by putting things in front of us. It is our choice whether or not we take those opportunities and what we do with them. But, mind you, if we don’t ask, we won’t receive. Ask first with a pure intent to improve, help or better yourself, then listen closely to what the universe begins to deliver you. Recognize, then react by acting upon and remember to always follow through. (That is one thing I have always failed at- following through). I have found that darker energies come into play there by creating distractions so you DONT follow through. Whether through events surrounding you or through other people interacting with you in your life. You still have your freewill to work around it and get back on track…for its your choice. If you recognize it as a distraction and where it is coming from, then you can get past it – but you must move quickly and effectively to stay on your path, before it pulls you farther and farther away.

As I drove I said to the “universe” (when I say ‘universe’ I mean a collective of the creator (god), Jesus, angels, and all the enlightened spirits that make up the light and heaven as well as my family and loved ones that have passed on) with great intent something like this… “Universe, please help, I ask of you – I need to refocus, I need to get back on my path, but I can no longer do it alone. I am asking for your help in guidance in doing this. I know I need to rethink and reestablish my goals, but right now… I am sorry…I don’t know how. Please show me the way…man, I need some divine intervention if possible, like I have had in the past,  just to know I can get out of this…I really need  a plan, I just don’t no where to being at this stage”

As I got home, I went about my business cooking a meal and sitting behind my desk and computer in my office. My cat Noir jumped up on the desk as he normally does and crawled up next to my arm as I surfed the net with my keyboard. God I love this cat, he is not only a friend, but in some ways like a guardian.

It was just over an hour from when I consciously asked those questions speaking out to the universe that something peculiar occurred. I have a large wall filled book case in front of me about 6 feet away from my desk and computer. The shelf cubed spaces are deep and all together each cube added up totals about 400-600 books. Most are tightly packed. As I typed away I heard a “Thifft….bang” My cat lurched up and looked over the desk onto the floor. I looked at the cat, and recognized that sound. My mind took a few seconds to analyze what I just heard. I questioned it rationally..”did a book just fall of my shelf? Sounded like it, but…How? No way…” I leaned over and saw a book on the floor just under my fathers Chicago Stadium Chicago Blackhawks Novelty chair. I walked around the desk slowly realizing, wait a minute this doesnt make sense. I looked up towards the cubes above it and all books were tightly packed except a tiny space now barren. I looked down and picked up the book and slowly I began to laugh. “No way!” I said out loud, “No friggen way!” and I started to laugh again. I stared at the cover recognizing this book many years ago. I don’t think I ever read the entire book, but now its old pages and slightly worn cover stared at me. A road sign perhaps?  This book was an old friend with a new purpose, delivered to me in a divine or some might say supernatural way. For I know beyond a doubt, that the book did not fall by itself. It was only over an hour ago, I asked for a sign, for a path, for a new outlook on obtaining my goals. But this book, I now held in my hand, which millions have read over the years, was now meant for me to read and pay close attention too. It was the “Psychology of Winning” by Dr Denis Waitley. A book on motivation, self help and positive awareness and more importantly how to be a winner. I realized I had allowed others to call me a loser and begun to think that. Toxic people will do that. I had lost the drive and determination, not because I wanted to, but because others wanted me to. Because others in there own insecurities, and hopelessness wanted me to fail, and like a toxic chemical I began to absorb their imposing beliefs and allow their spiteful words and actions to effect me. This book, shoved ,somehow, someway off my shelf, out of all the other books – Conan the barbarian, The Walking Dead, The PK Zone, Drug alternatives, AC/DC in the studio, and so on. This book, out of all these other books was chosen to fall off my shelf and onto the floor in front of me while I was in the room. Coincidence? Absolutely not. The universe does not work that way when you ask for a sign. Otherwise it might, but not in this case. I sat down and thumbed through the book. A couple sentences caught my eye – “The fact that we, literally,  become what we think about most of the time….Attitude is the answer… need to get your head together with constructive thinking-not superficial lip service, but dedicated learning of new, healthy responses of the stimuli of life….no limits other then self-imposed…….Are you steering your ship or are you a victim of the ill or fair winds of fate?

I smiled, yup sounds like my current state. I sat down and realized it didn’t matter, was it a ghost in my house that pushed the tightly packed book of my shelf, was it  my dad, was it the universe, was it my own PK? It didn’t matter, point A to point B didn’t matter, what mattered was I act upon what just occurred by reading this book, taking on the mindset and attitude of a winner, not the attitude of a loser or lost soul. This book got in my hand for a reason, to be a sign, a roadmap to get me back on my path internally, so externally I could move ahead.

I realize, we can’t move ahead in life externally on any path if we aren’t moving ahead internally. Our mind has to be motivated, has to have a plan and has to believe in itself before the universe or anything can be constructed or built around us. Otherwise, we are incomplete and slightest distractions will cause us to fall apart. No one will get anywhere without the proper wheels on a car.

So whomever gave me this sign, I thank you. I have begun reading the book, highlighting the words that speak out to me, and reviewing it every couple days. This has become my guidepost for now, until the universe presents something else to me. With my freewill I have chosen to read it and recognize the signs, along with my followthrough I will complete preparing for the next sign getting me ever closer to my goals and dreams.

No matter how alone at times we may feel, we are never alone unless we believe that and ask for that, even then the universe is just waiting around the corner for us to ask for help. More importantly for us, we need to use our freewill and listen and react to the love the universe has and presents for us.

Nothing happens out of chance when we ask. Things are presented before us, but we must respond for as loving light guides us, it is our own choice and freewill that can act upon it. The more we recognize and act upon the faster we move upon our path and the easier it becomes for the universe to get us to point B. Even with Freewill, don’t ever think you are alone. Those that tell you otherwise, don’t want you to get there and they according to Dr Denis Waitley are losers, not winners.

So what do you want to be, a winner or a loser?

I know my answer to that, you need to start thinking about yours.


The Mist and Cry

The Mist and Cry

Actual photo of basement- Mist drawn for recreation only.

Just a few days ago I heard a screech, yesterday I saw a mist and last night I woke up to a woman crying.

While cleaning the basement yesterday afternoon, I was looking down at one of my suitcases and thinking to myself, “Well I am probably gonna be needing a new-smaller suitcase for my tour in October since I am traveling everyday and the darn checked bag fees are high” I then instantly in-visioned  myself working on my ghost lecture and updating it. I was wondering should I or shouldn’t I include some of the experiences I have had this year. As that thought was manifesting in my head I noticed to the left something midway in the air between the floor and rafters moving west (left wards). I quickly looked up and for what seemed like three seconds a squiggly shaped mist about 4 feet long glided slowly away from me and de-manifested. Startled I quickly realized, it being only about 7 feet away from me, that it was clearly a ghost that had manifested and de-manifested from where I was standing. I then felt a male presence and a sense of him not wanting to be in my way. I yelled out excited and somewhat shocked, “Ghost…ghost…GHOST!”  Upstairs Rachel heard me as I ran upstairs to tell her with a smile on my face and the bursting energy of a little kid thinking in my head, “I am beginning to see them again.” It is not that hard to see them at night, or at least a fraction of them. TO see in the daytime, well that is something different.  It seems some of the lessons I learned my recent trip to Mexico in meeting with a shaman has begun to open up a part of me that has been dormant since my childhood. At least with the recent experiences in my house, it would seem that way.

That very night…yes, last night, I woke out of a deep dream hearing something in the hallway and what I heard was a woman crying. I woke up Rachel and asked her if she heard what just woke me and in a slumbered reply, “Uh…no, wwhhhhy?” I told her what I heard and she, well quickly went back to sleep. It was around 4am I believe that this occurred. I did not see anything, but felt it may have been similar to the female voice we heard months ago, whisper in the room  ”Come here.” As to which I ignored and Rachel heard and I had to tell her it was nothing, knowing full well If I told her what it was she woudlnt sleep and neither would I. UNfortunately, the spirit would have none of that and a minute later I was pushed on my check, quite hard for a cheek push and I sprung up yelling “Okay!” “I freakin heard you, now can I go to sleep….I am sorry that I pretended that you weren’t there. Now this is my house and as you should know I need to sleep..good nite” Rachel of course laid there startled, “You mean you did hear it?” “Yes, now go to sleep they want bother us.” I am not sure if she slept that night or not.

So what is going on in my house? Well, I know I have always had ghosts no matter where I go. I believe that there is a male, female and a girl ghost in the house. I have recorded all three on EVP in the past. As well as something that I can’t explain…yet.

The Screech in The Hallway

The Screech in The Hallway

Art by Albert Keresztes 1999

Okay first off it has been awhile since I posted, I apologize but I have been playing catch up evidence for a bunch of cases and TV shows I have recently done. Well, anyways right to the point. I am sitting here with my Cat, NOIR. He always sits on my desk. All day and all night while I work. Yup, he’s my buddy. While I was listening to some audio for EVPs for the season finale of Psychic kids. There is a part in the investigation where (Spoiler) the whole house shakes. I am listening over and over again to the audio because during the rumbling, there is an evp. While trying to make it out I decided to take a break and read my JUNK folder for my emails. There is an interesting email in there from a guy claiming to have the most incredible evidence in human history, just as I am reading this I hear it. Keep in mind my headphones are off, no sound playing in the house. Rachel is upstairs, and there is this entity like “Screech” that occurs in the hallway outside my home office room right next to he kitchen. Not only do I hear it but NOIR who was laying down next to me, jumps up and looks out towards the doorway while he is upright on my desk still. He doesnt take his stance or pose off the hallway. After about a minute of both of us quite and looking towards the hallway, he jumps down and walks quickly out to the hallway and turns and stairs down the hall. His tail goes up and gets all fluffy like. “Oh my god” I say as I realize my cat for the first time, not only heard a spirit voice in my house, but he has responded to it and gone to investigate. His body reaction with the pose and tail tells me he sees or feels something. Remarkable. I get up and go out into hallway and as I do this he walks over the the kitchen table and lays down under the table facing the hallway. Now at this point I dont know if he is afraid, or he is assuming. Okay, Chris will take care of it. Back to my lounging. I grabbed a RT-EVp and walked around the house asking questions and demanding responses. My senses were not picking up anything except in the basement, and two rooms with closets. Not my rooms thank god. I received some faint responses and will have to analyze later. Priorities first.

The interesting thing is, I captured a few months ago some EVPs in my house and one of them sounds just like what we heard in the hallway. I called to Rachel who ran downstairs and I told her what had happened. Freaked out she hung out in my office and then the bedroom and doesn’t want to hear any more of what just occurred. Ha. She hasn’t experienced anything yet to the level that others in my past have witnessed. It is only a matter of time.

I dont know who or what (Entity?) that was that I heard. But I am sure it is not the last of it. Here is a clip of the evp I caught a few months ago, which sounds very similar to what we ….right now just as I was writing this one of the lamps light source went dark for a brief moment as if something just passed over my head behind me. The cat (back on my desk with me) just looked up towards the ceiling as well. Whatever it is maybe just have come into the room for a brief moment and then flew out. Why don’t I get up and investigate further you ask? Because this is my life and these things happen off and on. I have other responsibilities which, sadly doesnt give me much time to investigate my own place more frequently. You live with it.

**This is a clip I recorded on 6-6-2010 while no one was in the house. For two hours I recorded the inside of my home due to events that occurred a few nights before. What I found was many evps and this is one of them. Note you hear bangs and a voice within two of the bangs and after the 4th bang the garage door goes up. We just pulled down the street corner and will be pulling up the driveway in about 10 seconds. You will begin to hear the garage door going up.***

Now shines the light – to let you find your way

Now shines the light – to let you find your way

“Little Soul, Little Flame” 2012  Digital Art by Chris Fleming

I lay in bed this morning. I didn’t sleep very well due to a head cold and the pain and aching in my head and neck all night. I couldn’t get comfortable at all, no matter what pillow I used or how I placed my head. I had some massage and cranial sacrum done yesterday with hopes to heal and help my head and neck injury from a car accident back in Sept of 09. Now that I am working out again at the gym, I am suffering from tension, headaches, and anxiety due to the tightening up of the neck and and shoulder muscles. Even with a muscle relaxer the pain tends to still breath through. I keep most of it in, but at times it is unbearable.

Holding my pillow I started thinking about some of my decisions over the past few years and how I wish I made some different choices. The things I miss, the mistakes I made, the pain I have gone through and even the things I lost. I started to get depressed from these thoughts and began to just wish I could go back home to heaven like I felt during an out of body experience many years ago and during a regression I had years ago where I met a woman ( many of you probably heard of her, she was a famous singer ) who showed me the connection with all things in heaven. The water, air, flowers, grass, and other spirits. Where we are all connected and there is a tone, a melody that flows through the air and all things, a tone so beautiful it sings praise to one and all and is beautifully honoring the creator, god. A flow of unconditional love that is so strong one only wants to bask in it and never leave. Even in this basking you are not alone as all creation is there with you singing this sweet, wonderful tone. Unlike anything I have ever heard.

All of a sudden my father popped into my head (he passed away over a year ago) and I felt his consciousness, I reached for my iphone and decided to check if a text message came through to see if I would be going to the Hawks game tonight or not, instead a program opened up on my phone with buttons and a menu I had never seen before, i tried to close out of it but it opened back up again  and I noticed there was a play button. Instead of laying back down, I was compelled by it, so I decided to press it, and this beautiful song began.

Here is the song –

The Lyrics –

Miracle Eyes by Lesiem

Fire – once gave you life
now shines the light – to let you find your way
don‘t let it die – it brightens the dark
and burns your pain

O, Non Contra Venio, Non Lingua
O, Quid Ergo Anima, Flammula
Mecum Omnes Plangite, Emudolor
Divide Et Impera
Brevi Finietur

Fear – darken your day
fever turns cold –
when dreams and shadow play
the fire of life – burns deep in your soul
keep it warm


O, Non Contra Venio, Non Lingua
O, Quid Ergo Anima, Flammula
Mecum Omnes Plangite, Emudolor
Divide Et Impera
Brevi Finietur


It hit me like a ton of bricks, as it played I felt my father, his love and his message in these words. Mind you, I didn’t hear “Fire – once gave you life” I heard, instead “I gave you life” and the rest…loving and motivational I felt strongly as tears streaked down my face, hope form above and from my father in what I feel was a message in a form from him and others. The meaning, to change my thoughts, not lose the fire in my soul, the drive and determination no matter what. Not to be afraid of success nor failure. But to push on and feel warmth in knowing I am not alone, actually scratch that, NEVER alone. Love from above, is always with us.

You see there have been points in my life where I have questioned things, as we all have done at times, and almost like clock work a song plays or comes on that answers my thoughts and makes me think a different way. Even in some dire cases, it has been as if someone was listening and responding through the music. Yes, I believe it is possible. Heaven hears us all the time, and at times they respond in ways that we will take notice.

Another song played afterwards that also had deep meaning for me, and I dont feel comfortable enough to share that one here. But I know what they are saying and I am listening.

Pay attention to things around you and when you ask, seek… will find “they” are listening. Who are “they”, you might ask, well, what is love? Who is love? What is heaven? Who do you love that is in heaven? There is your answer. I know it is mine.

So after hearing this and crying my eyes out, I got out of bed, decided to forget about the cold and the pain in my neck and start my day. I have things to do and someone above is telling me to get going. Some things are to important to worry about, some pains irrelevant to tasks at hand.

“the fire of life – burns deep in your soul
keep it warm”


and if you are wondering what does the latin chorus mean? I looked it up online with a translator. From Latin to English it means –

“Oh, On the other hand I have reached the not, not with the tongue
Oh, What, then, Little soul, little flames
everyone weep with me, Emudolor
Divide and will be finished shortly, ‘Reign over”

By the way As I have been typing this, the sunlight came through the clouds beaming into my window, into my home office, and onto my body, face and computer. Timing, as they say, is everything. Thank you god, thank you. I feel the warmth, it will get me through the day.


Out of the darkness

Out of the darkness

Actual drawing of what I saw.

As a child growing up I was often fearful of the dark for what lurked around the corners of  the darkest rooms and the closed closets. It was on two certain occasions the closet door swung open and a black thick massive cloud, similar to a tornado rushed towards me. I have often talked about this experience in my lectures across the country and found many children and adults who have seen and had similar experiences. The question has always remained, who or what is in that black mass? Where does it come from and where does it go? My fear as a child was always, what happened if it grabbed me and pulled me into its own darkness? What would become of me? This fear was all to real, and no dream or nightmare could compare could compare to the reality of what I was witnessing. My sheer terror and screams running away from it was witnessed by a maid/babysitter we had while my parents where out of town working. She quit after this experience. While I believe I have seen what is in those clouds, and have assumed it is a vehicle or higher form for which they travel and move in and out of their dimension. I cannot be 100% sure. What I am sure is that in September of 2009 a creature, that I had not seen since I was 5-9 years old manifested for the first time since and made me realize that in 35 years not only has my size changed but my fears. What I saw last year was not a corner of the eye sighting,  it was a full on reminder. That they are still around, watching, waiting. At first I was in shock, but then it quickly turned to anger as I was reminded of the fear I felt as a child and now as an adult, one not afraid to confront that which I have been facing for the past 20 years had just invaded not only my home, but my consciousness…no longer as a child…as an adult who will no longer run. I looked away and then looked up again. It was still there, slowly moving back into the darkness of the closet and slowly becoming transparent as if it was going back into its own dimension. I would not say it was becoming invisible, it was still there to a degree but moving away from the illumination from the room and bacakwards into the darkness was taking it somewhere else as well as passing out of my visual spectrum. A certain frequency of light and just the right OPEN consciousness allowed it to be seen. I turned away at first in shock and catapulted into past memories, and then I turned and looked again and watched it creep back into the shadows of the corner of the closet. As I watched in awe, its eyes gleamed back into the light, and then it retreated back into the darkness of the shadows. I jumped up and ran to the door…angry. Facing what was now an empty closet. I cursed inside my head and then spoke words out loud. “How dare YOU!” I yelled how I was no longer afraid and to show itself once more. Nothing occurred. I knew it was gone, as if it was toying with me. What was the purpose..what was the message? I pondered on this for days and weeks. I have a good idea, not one I am about to share.

Two weeks ago something happened again, flying me back to the events that occurred in my home on Park Lane from 1972-1978. The hauntings and the evil that resided in that house. I felt it again, but this time in my current home. It woke me to sheer pain in my left eye as it was ripped open again from a corneal tear and abrassion. I cursed and screamed around the room, not only in pain but the fact that the one thing I feared and was terrorized most from my childhood home had somehow and someway found me. It always was, the short creatures and the black cloud showing itself first, and then the larger darker more powerful being coming next. I once again raced around the house cursing and telling it to leave. How dare it come into my home. To show itself, if it dare. I yelled that it was weak to attack me in my sleep, when I was defenseless. NOW that I was wide awake, where was it?

I don’t have all the answers to what occurred in Sept and a few weeks ago, but what I do know is the feeling, what I saw I have not felt in over 35 years. For the first time since I felt and saw what plagued me for years growing up as a child and I honestly believed it was over with. Now I am certain it is not.

There was a part of me relieved to know that what happened to me as a child did in fact happen, but now as an adult seeing it again quickly makes me realize that most people would never believe it, unless they saw it for themselves. How does one talk about something like this? What happens next?


Rolling Hills Ghost

Rolling Hills Ghost

Actual drawing of what I saw.

Drawing of The Shadow person 4 seconds before it swirled away like a vaporous bat. This took place at Rolling Hills 6/14/08 about 2:30-3am to the left of one of the rooms off the hallway in the basement-long corridor. With me was Patrick Burns and 4 late night auction winning fans. I will never forget this….as we were staring down the hall watching for shadow people, I suddenly turned to the left as my gaze was drawn away from the darkness and into the room along side me…The moonlight was shining through the large window and there was a solid male figure standing in front of the illuminated sill staring right at us. For what seemed like three seconds I stared at this dark foreboding person, and before I could yell for the others besides me to turn, what seemed like a he imploded into a small black mist of shadow 1/8 the size of it’s previous manifestation and took off leftwards through the room and out the other door. In all my years I had never seen a shadow person dematerialize so quickly, yet take a form like that in less then two seconds. I felt he was saying in an intimidating way…”Now you see me, now you don’t.” I don’t believe in Vampires, but the way it stood, the overcoat it was wearing, and the pose it took as well as the form it quickly shifted to, proved to me that ghost or spirits with their conscious minds, can change their appearance as quickly as a thought or action that we make in our own physical realm. I have realized they are capable of outsmarting us and moving about so quickly, with such ease and control, it is extremely rare to get even get a glimpse of them. The fact it blocked out the window completely and had gone from solid to a shadowy mist in seconds left me staring at the empty window wondering, did I catch it before it left or did it want me to see its sense of control it has in our realm? I may never know.