Actual Photo minutes after it occured.
A few weeks ago while driving home, I began to think, not your usual thoughts, but deep thoughts. Spiritually I began to question my current existence as if observing and consulting myself. I realized I had slowed down on my path and even gone off on detour. Not a detour that was making me feel as if I was accomplishing anything. It was more of a feeling that the last two years had pushed me away from certain aspects of my path and quite possibly caused me to miss certain opportunities to succeed in some of my dreams and aspirations. The question, which I felt I had no answer to was not one of desperation, but more of a realignment seeking with the universe better guidance and trust.
I had come to realize deep down I was not happy, and it had nothing to do with people in or no longer in my life. It had to do with the distractions that have occurred the past two years and seemingly strayed me away from my passion and drive in what I do. My passion seemed to be slipping, yet I could not place why. Possibly, disappointment with those I had surrounded myself with along with my indecisions to act upon feelings and senses that my path was not being properly followed. My choices were more for others then for myself. Getting and feeling older was not helping either. I just no longer felt the same I did three years ago. The car accident, broken nose, torn eye, and more were now everyday reminders for me physically. Extra baggage in pain or discomfort I would much rather live without. Consistent pain I have come to realize, does affect our choices and thoughts and in many cases can create indecision. I have learned that now.
My current self, driving along almost with no place to go, knew I needed help, yet in its darkness and sense of hopelessness I felt I needed to speak out to the higher consciousness. The truth that exists in all of us. So I did for the first time in awhile. As a man, I realized I couldn’t face these issues alone anymore.
As I drove in deep thought, staring ever forward on the darkened road as the headlights of my black SUV illuminated the path I had traveled so many times. It was no longer similar to me, it was a route I had to go, but reaching my home was not even a thought. I realized regardless of the path I am now currently on, whether one of missed opportunities or whether one of new beginnings my attitude, my focus needed to change. Where was I going now? Where did I want to go. I was thinking I didn’t have it in me anymore. No drive, no determination. Just plain tired. What was I to do?
I know the spirit world listens and I know so does the creator. For we are all connected. Yet they can’t always intervene for our freewill prevents that. So, I could not change what the universe has given me because of my decisions, my actions and the distractions I have allowed from others. The energies I have allowed myself to absorb from and receive being around others has obviously driven me into this current state. Not one so much of confusion as one of feeling of being on a train to nowhere. I needed to pull out of this, otherwise this road will lead to nowhere. Who wants to go there? When in fact there is no there, when one no longer knows where there is? The question is where do I want to go now and how do I get there? Confused as my words might sound, that is exactly how I felt.
While I have no one to consult to and I have spent years spiritually consulting others who would one like myself turn to?
In my realization over the years, I have come to the sense that because of our freewill, god or the creator whomever you believe in, will not normally intervene in our lives to save us or change our life. Because of our freewill, we have to ask for it in a way that we cant expect to get automatically from point A to point B. To obtain point B, our goals, dreams, hopes, miracles, must occur somehow some way by our own actions and involvement. We can believe that point B is possible all by itself, only if we realize that we must capitalize on the opportunities that the universe will gladly present to us. We must recognize these things and take advantage of the opportunities. Recognize, then reaction and action to make it happen. The more we recognize the opportunities in front of us, placed there by the universe as well as our freewill in getting us there, the quicker we will get to point B. The universe can only help by putting things in front of us. It is our choice whether or not we take those opportunities and what we do with them. But, mind you, if we don’t ask, we won’t receive. Ask first with a pure intent to improve, help or better yourself, then listen closely to what the universe begins to deliver you. Recognize, then react by acting upon and remember to always follow through. (That is one thing I have always failed at- following through). I have found that darker energies come into play there by creating distractions so you DONT follow through. Whether through events surrounding you or through other people interacting with you in your life. You still have your freewill to work around it and get back on track…for its your choice. If you recognize it as a distraction and where it is coming from, then you can get past it – but you must move quickly and effectively to stay on your path, before it pulls you farther and farther away.
As I drove I said to the “universe” (when I say ‘universe’ I mean a collective of the creator (god), Jesus, angels, and all the enlightened spirits that make up the light and heaven as well as my family and loved ones that have passed on) with great intent something like this… “Universe, please help, I ask of you – I need to refocus, I need to get back on my path, but I can no longer do it alone. I am asking for your help in guidance in doing this. I know I need to rethink and reestablish my goals, but right now… I am sorry…I don’t know how. Please show me the way…man, I need some divine intervention if possible, like I have had in the past, just to know I can get out of this…I really need a plan, I just don’t no where to being at this stage”
As I got home, I went about my business cooking a meal and sitting behind my desk and computer in my office. My cat Noir jumped up on the desk as he normally does and crawled up next to my arm as I surfed the net with my keyboard. God I love this cat, he is not only a friend, but in some ways like a guardian.
It was just over an hour from when I consciously asked those questions speaking out to the universe that something peculiar occurred. I have a large wall filled book case in front of me about 6 feet away from my desk and computer. The shelf cubed spaces are deep and all together each cube added up totals about 400-600 books. Most are tightly packed. As I typed away I heard a “Thifft….bang” My cat lurched up and looked over the desk onto the floor. I looked at the cat, and recognized that sound. My mind took a few seconds to analyze what I just heard. I questioned it rationally..”did a book just fall of my shelf? Sounded like it, but…How? No way…” I leaned over and saw a book on the floor just under my fathers Chicago Stadium Chicago Blackhawks Novelty chair. I walked around the desk slowly realizing, wait a minute this doesnt make sense. I looked up towards the cubes above it and all books were tightly packed except a tiny space now barren. I looked down and picked up the book and slowly I began to laugh. “No way!” I said out loud, “No friggen way!” and I started to laugh again. I stared at the cover recognizing this book many years ago. I don’t think I ever read the entire book, but now its old pages and slightly worn cover stared at me. A road sign perhaps? This book was an old friend with a new purpose, delivered to me in a divine or some might say supernatural way. For I know beyond a doubt, that the book did not fall by itself. It was only over an hour ago, I asked for a sign, for a path, for a new outlook on obtaining my goals. But this book, I now held in my hand, which millions have read over the years, was now meant for me to read and pay close attention too. It was the “Psychology of Winning” by Dr Denis Waitley. A book on motivation, self help and positive awareness and more importantly how to be a winner. I realized I had allowed others to call me a loser and begun to think that. Toxic people will do that. I had lost the drive and determination, not because I wanted to, but because others wanted me to. Because others in there own insecurities, and hopelessness wanted me to fail, and like a toxic chemical I began to absorb their imposing beliefs and allow their spiteful words and actions to effect me. This book, shoved ,somehow, someway off my shelf, out of all the other books – Conan the barbarian, The Walking Dead, The PK Zone, Drug alternatives, AC/DC in the studio, and so on. This book, out of all these other books was chosen to fall off my shelf and onto the floor in front of me while I was in the room. Coincidence? Absolutely not. The universe does not work that way when you ask for a sign. Otherwise it might, but not in this case. I sat down and thumbed through the book. A couple sentences caught my eye – “The fact that we, literally, become what we think about most of the time….Attitude is the answer…..you need to get your head together with constructive thinking-not superficial lip service, but dedicated learning of new, healthy responses of the stimuli of life….no limits other then self-imposed…….Are you steering your ship or are you a victim of the ill or fair winds of fate?
I smiled, yup sounds like my current state. I sat down and realized it didn’t matter, was it a ghost in my house that pushed the tightly packed book of my shelf, was it my dad, was it the universe, was it my own PK? It didn’t matter, point A to point B didn’t matter, what mattered was I act upon what just occurred by reading this book, taking on the mindset and attitude of a winner, not the attitude of a loser or lost soul. This book got in my hand for a reason, to be a sign, a roadmap to get me back on my path internally, so externally I could move ahead.
I realize, we can’t move ahead in life externally on any path if we aren’t moving ahead internally. Our mind has to be motivated, has to have a plan and has to believe in itself before the universe or anything can be constructed or built around us. Otherwise, we are incomplete and slightest distractions will cause us to fall apart. No one will get anywhere without the proper wheels on a car.
So whomever gave me this sign, I thank you. I have begun reading the book, highlighting the words that speak out to me, and reviewing it every couple days. This has become my guidepost for now, until the universe presents something else to me. With my freewill I have chosen to read it and recognize the signs, along with my followthrough I will complete preparing for the next sign getting me ever closer to my goals and dreams.
No matter how alone at times we may feel, we are never alone unless we believe that and ask for that, even then the universe is just waiting around the corner for us to ask for help. More importantly for us, we need to use our freewill and listen and react to the love the universe has and presents for us.
Nothing happens out of chance when we ask. Things are presented before us, but we must respond for as loving light guides us, it is our own choice and freewill that can act upon it. The more we recognize and act upon the faster we move upon our path and the easier it becomes for the universe to get us to point B. Even with Freewill, don’t ever think you are alone. Those that tell you otherwise, don’t want you to get there and they according to Dr Denis Waitley are losers, not winners.
So what do you want to be, a winner or a loser?
I know my answer to that, you need to start thinking about yours.